i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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