Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
