YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
