i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
