Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's never too late to be topless.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
