community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
