how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
