I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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