In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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