break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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