Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize