So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
