so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
