I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
