i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
