I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
