I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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