just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He felt like a one man threesome
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
