That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
