so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
