Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
