Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize