I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize