I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
