She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
