im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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