Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
