he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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