What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
