Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
