No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
