She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
