..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
