i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
soo... how was my night?
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