Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
