I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
