You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize