I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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