JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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