I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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