There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
