i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
nutella sex= disaster
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
