Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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