Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize