so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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