her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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