how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
