I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
