No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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