I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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