I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
