I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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