Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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