She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
