Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
