By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
