the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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