Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
