you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize