Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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