Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
