Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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