I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
