We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
