i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The uberlube is also flammable
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
