Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
